calMate

No, don't get fidgety, he said to himself while stroking his Adam's apple, a habit he developed so long back, he did not remember when. He figured that it was his reflexive attachment to anything that came out to alleviate his woes just about in time. He'd always remember staring at everyone else's throats in school and wondering why they had this sharp thing protruding unlike his perfectly smooth neck. He smiled to himself. He was careful never to ask anyone about that. Not after all the jokes made at other parts of his that were perfectly smooth too. It did not amuse him that having something dangling between your legs couldn't matter less if you were not all hairy and grizzly. Made him recall a rather funny word his grandpa used and wonder how that made him more of a man and not a bear. He learnt to be sort of a misfit and he found it endearing about himself. You're chocolaty, they envy you. So he told himself. The whole thing made him laugh. And it calmed him every time. Not today though.

He looked at his watch again. "So I'll be there by six", well thats what she said. Fifteen minutes past six, he found himself alone and screaming at his scientific calculator Asio, "Where is she then?". He suddenly had this oddly unsettling image of all his chocolatiness melting away into a puddle. It made beepy noises as if wanting to say, "How should I know?", clearly disliking being screamed at. Asio knew him very well having been with him for so long. Atleast it would have if it were capable of thought. Asio was actually a Casio, originally purchased by his father as a gift for his cousin. It however never made it to the cousin as he ran away from school, a story no one bothered to explain to him in full. So he ended up with the device, ten years later. With the C almost worn out, Asio was the obsolete thing he punched his numbers into while it merrily beeped at being finally put to use. And that to his misfortune attracted a lot of unpleasant stares. The beeps never went, and neither did the stares. He sometimes seriously contemplated 'gifting' Asio to his cousin's child and laughing villainously while the kid became the butt of all the stares. But all hopes of revenge were shattered; the kid was still in first grade. Damn kid, he thought, for not possessing a superhuman IQ or the ability to age at will. So unfair. Asio did not have an auto power off which meant he had to replace batteries countless number of times. It was almost like 'maintaining' a girlfriend except that in his case it wasn't a girl. It was a frigging calculator. As this thought came to him, Asio beeped him the finger. And before he could shake off his hyper imagination or retaliate, she arrived.

Finally, he sighed in relief. She wasn't there on a date. Even if he wanted to believe it was one. She needed help with some course work, and he was good at it. He also happened to be around and offer help when she was looking for some. It thrilled him so much to think of her being there and even if all he was going to do (no pun) was get into her (again, no pun) some solutions to columns and buckling and failure and other things she did not understand. But only until then. Right from the moment she arrived he was smitten. It made him so uncomfortable that he held his bladder tight just to have something to do. And also to keep him in his senses and from not drifting away into whatever escapades of romantic nature his hyper imaginative mind would lead him. "Nice calculator". He returned to this world with a confused "Uh what?" and added quickly but rather sheepishly "Oh, it was my Dad's", trying not to look embarrassed. The whole time she spent with him, he only looked at her and admired at how beautiful she looked curled up with some books and his calculator (apart from holding his bladder that is). Asio, that lucky piece of trash, he thought to himself. It did not deter him that his sinisterly intelligent plan to procure her phone number fell flat in its face. All he got instead was a smile. That radiant million watt smile was totally worth it. Asio beeped wickedly as she keyed in something while he burned in envy and the ignominy of his namesake girlfriend beating the might out of any prospects he had at a real one. Just as he swore to never replace the batteries again, she got up to leave. He rose too, sulking at an uneventful evening and walked her to the door, to say good bye. He got to see her walk away, boy he did, but it still was disheartening. "And yes, I forgot to turn your calculator off", she smiled yet again just as she was leaving. With a heavy heart he walked back to his bed searching for any fragrant remains of her presence and picked up that traitorous old mate asio. And for the first time that day he smiled.

He smiled with all his heart, while not imagining anything for once, secretly thanking Asio for not having an auto power-off, his cousin for running away from school, and the kid for lacking superpowers and being just as dumb as was fit for his age.
On the calculator's screen were the ten most beautiful digits to be ever written in digital ink - 98403 33500.
May be I should get Asio some new batteries, he thought out aloud.